still not motivated

I have no will to write, I'm stuck in the prospective that nothing that's going on right now is news. I'm also excessively tired and any 'free time' I have I just don't want to do anything at all. I guess perhaps I'm just not meant to be a blogger... or a journaler or diaryist or whatever you want to call those who are able to cognitively collect their thoughts at the end of each day and then look back and reflect on them, gather wisdom and share that with others. I used to really embrace that part of life, and loved it, now for some reason I'm just over it and just want to carry the truely important experiences/lessons with me and just let the past go. I haven't decided yet if this is completely true or whether it is a good thing or not. Perhaps I just need to work harder at it and re-embrace the writer within... or not, I guess we'll see in time.
The no spend month is going pretty well, although I am pretty sure that it's going to be extended for a few more months, maybe until farther notice, with each month having the same budget. I've barely made a dent in the freezers even after having a "party." (if you can call it that - I'll explain below) I've realized how much I am addicted to shopping and how much of a hold that it still has on me after the trip to the grocery store today. I'm also totally disgusted with myself being so consumed by the consumerism aspect of shopping and "finding deals" especially after a recent talk I atteneded about just such a topic. I'm especially upset and disgusted with the way food is sold and viewed in society today. I hate being so out of touch with where it actually comes from and knowing the carbon footprint it carries after being trucked across the world to arrive on my plate. It's almost upsetting to me that it doesn't cost more than it does with all of the energy expended for it to get here. Not to mention how old it must be by the time it gets here and what it must have gone through. I'm saddened too with how it seems like we can do so little just being one family, even if we don't buy produce that is trucked from other countries, fish that are on the endangered list, meat, eggs, dairy from factory farms etc. there are so many other people who still do. Does what I do or don't do have any impact at all?
So off my soapbox, maybe...
My freezers are still out of control, I've done a few stupid grocery store trips for things that we may or may not have really needed. And we have about a week left and $55.33 left to put gas in the cars and who knows what else. So yes, it's more than doable, this budget, it will be extended until my addictions are broken and we get into the habbit of living in this world and not of it in a way that most people don't tend to think of existing. I feel like that's my new calling. Maybe it doesn't actually matter if we make any impact, but rather if we are just following what God has called us to do.
So it being March, we celebrated PI day on the 14th. We made about 5 pies, and a pizza, and invited over a bunch of people. We made the turkey and it turned out amazing! After a day and a half in the brine and a slow roast under a turkey triangle that bird was so tender and juicy it was so awesome and flavorful. And true to us, only two of the people we invited over actually showed up. So we had a ton of food. Which is essentially what we've been eating this past week. Here are a few pictures. (can someone teach me how to put these things in there without so much trouble?It keeps putting them on the top of the post so they have to be pulled down to wherever I actually want them and the cursor disappears too - ACK this is not fun!!! Sorry people, you're only getting three.)

I've got some other pictures here, of various other things from the past few months. But PI day was fun, it turned out to be a nice relaxing time with awesome people. I'm actually really happy not more showed up as I am not an entertainer. I don't know what I was thinking in the first place even having people come over at all. Craziness I tell you! The blueberry rhubarb pie is still the best, and I think I may have perfected my GF pie crust this time. And in the middle of a no spend month too... what is wrong with me? Anyway, I've got to close as I'm being beckoned to spend some time with my amazing husband. I'll try to either be better about this whole writing consistently thing for real. Or I'll just put out some regards to the few who want to know about my life, and I'll write you guys emails instead of attempting to publicly humiliate myself by writing here.

Welcome Back Lisa

Alright, so I've again failed at blogging, but I'm motivated now and all ready to make another attempt at it. There have been various things that I got excited about sharing, but never found the time to do so. So now I've escaped one of my weekly commitments for the next month, and am going to designate that time to focusing a few hours on school and some time towards sharing what is going on in our lives here.
We're all ready to start another no spend month here, so I figured it's the ideal time to start writing again. We're doing this no spend month a little different, we've got an absurd amount of random things in the freezer, so the focus this month is on clearing out the freezers and pantry as opposed to simply a non consumerism and money saving motivation. So I'm sorry, but if you're looking for great ways of saving money on food, my journey this time probably won't help too much. I looked at what we spent this month on groceries and was disgusted with the total, so that was also part of it. There is just no justifiable reason that a family of three needs to spend anywhere near $600 for food alone in the shortest month of the year. We're taking our total for what we spent on gas this month instead, and using that alone as our total spending goal. It just happens to be the same as what we designated as our goal for the last round. $250.
So the changes - J has got to learn to start taking the bus again. Lisa has to stop going to the grocery store every time she is bored and especially not when she is bored and hungry! And Kaylee is going to have to learn that she can't live her entire life eating nothing but popsicles, pancakes and blueberries. Nor will she get me to drive across the state just to go to play area, we're going to have to find something acceptable and entertaining to do around here, and probably me more than she will have to be content with that.
Another thing that may or may not be worth noting is my goal as part of lent and my need to regain a little of my health, to take my need for a rotation diet more seriously. This means we can't eat the same thing every day. The main things are going to be rotating grains and proteins, the fruits and veggies, I've decided are pretty much impossible with our limitations right now.
Speaking of limitations... We (Kaylee) can have turkey again, and the occasional potato. Yay! So that helps too. This is totally embarrassing to admit, but we have a Turkey in the deep freeze that has been there since before Kaylee was born, I'm almost afraid to cook it, but I'm going to try and see how it goes... hopefully the freezer burn will not be too bad after a good brine and roasting. I looked through and the dates on most everything else don't go pre 2007 so that's good, but still, there really shouldn't even be things in there from 2007! Ugh, I'm so disgusted with myself! Rotate, rotate, rotate, I think that might be my new mantra for this year.

Just in case anyone was wondering

the end of a decade

I woke up earlier this week with a swollen tongue. And in my routine cleaning of my tongue ring I found a little bit of green goo, so naturally I freaked out and decided I was going to die of an infection spreading from the goo into my blood and my life was completely over. So I took out my tongue ring and decided that that phase of my life is now over; and I'm okay with that. I had it for ten years, and that's a pretty good run for a random decision. Now my tongue is so light, it's crazy! I never realized that I had been lifting weights every time I talked, now I'm not.

Corn

I finally got to watch King Corn. Wow, we had just added corn back into our diet a few months ago, as Kaylee is now able to handle it pretty well. I'm not sure anymore how much I really want to keep it as a part of my diet though. I think I'd feel differently if it were a different variety of corn, like maybe the good unadulterated variety that still has nutritional value, and that we grow. But I think we're totally done buying any HFCS in anything, (not that we have for a long time but still) grain fed beef - even eating out isn't even close to being worth it, or non-organic corn products like chips. I just can't continue to be a contributing factor in supporting such an industry. It is so incredibly sad where this country is headed in terms of food. This is definitely another film that I think everyone should see.

Wrap up

I am happy to report that we survived our no spend month. It wasn't nearly as painful as I expected it to be, although the last day for some reason was somewhat rough, I had a crazy urge to make cookies and we had no brown sugar. I resisted since there really was no need for cookies, and we had $2.36 to spare at the end of it all. Our total for week four was $61.59. Gas was the big stress, I think when it comes down to it losing the extra hour each day with Jereriah since he was taking the bus was the hardest thing. It was also hard to stay home every day with Kaylee and only going out for walks around the neighborhood. We were getting a bit board of our books without a trip to the library and boarder lined on cabin fever a few days. I've got to get to sleep, so I'll post more soon on how this experience was overall, but I really feel that it was good for us, and it's something we'll probably do more than once a year... or maybe we'll just actually create and try to stick to a budget. One thing I know will hapen though is that we're doing away with the credit cards, they're going to continue to live in their storage locker. Although we'll take out the debit one, because trying to make deposits in an atm without an atm card when you've gotten to the bank to late and their night deposit box is locked for some reason can really bum you out. (especially because the bank is really far away!)

The world in which I live

A friend of mine posted this article on her blog and I had to post it as well, since I the truth of the article rings so true to me each day. This is the place I live in (or close to it) and the people I interact with every day. True we've now officially moved out of Boulder County but since J still works in Boulder and I'm doing MOPS and other things there, we always seem to find ourselves back there. We're actually thinking of trying to get farther away sometime soon, but that's a post for another day. Right now I'm still loving the beautiful uniqueness that is Boulder. Here's the article.
Best Outside Towns